Reflection before I turn 30: Limitations set a person free (Week 10)

My motivation. My passion. My actions. They are driven by the word purpose.

When I have purpose, things seem clear. It helps me bounce back, I have found. This past decade, I have learned that it is harder to bounce back when I don't have purpose. When I can't bounce back, I become depressed. One of the things that I had wished, before I started my journey into adulthood, was learning was both how to manage my emotions while managing my finances.

People that are addicted, or people that lack purpose they lean towards destructive activities. When I am depressed, I overspend my finances because I need an outlet. Not thinking rationally, I further my depression. However, the deeper reflection that I need to learn is how NOT to become depressed. Written in a deeper reflection in my personal journal, I have found that my depression stems from these sources:

1. I become depressed when I am in unfamiliar settings or uncomfortable settings.
2. I become depressed, when I don't follow my instuition allowing others to write my story for me.
3. I become depressed when I don't have purpose.

What happens when I am depressed:

1. I can't focus
2. I revert to my past
3. I become reckless with spending
4. I start to overeat
5. My body gains weight even if I exercise
6. I could care less about the tidiness of my house

I have been reflecting upon these behaviors, and I am glad that I recognize these behaviors. I think that too many people go through life not meditating why certain things happen to them. But, this is something I want to change. I wanted to set limitations on things that would trigger my depression.

By setting limitations, I can better track the course of my life; and help prevent me from asking "why" is the bad stuff happening to me. I can't change the "why" if I don't know the "what". An example of setting limitations is with finances. No answer is the same for everybody. I have found that setting a budget at the beginning of the month prevents me from overspending. It prevents rationalizing when I see a paycheck just to spend it. Setting these types of limitations helps me psychologically and emotionally from rationalizing anything at that specific moment - overspending. To be honest, I spend about four to six hours tracking - near the end of the month - my expenditures
ensuring that I have a surplus at the end of the month.

Limitations on what a person can do and can't do help focus a person's life giving it purpose - makes it less stressful. It sets a person free. This is my reflection before I turn 30.

Journal's note: I mentioned it in this post about others writing my story for me. I have read this in other blog posts reflecting what that meant for them when they turned 30. However, I wanted to elaborate what that means for me. This will be my next week's blog post.