Reflection before I turn 30: Become (Week 14 - Final Week)

The city is vibrant.

Life is vibrant in the city.

Smelling the New York City air; hearing the sounds of taxi cab drivers furiously honking at traffic; and people marching along the streets makes me feel like seizing the day. The day should be seized, and every opportunity we have as I don't know when this day could be my last.

Alas, I never thought I would turn 30 years old as my last decade has taught me a lot. It has taught me to survive. It has taught me to thrive among life's adversities and enemies. It has taught me to earn what is mine. It has taught me more about me - like life in the city, ever changing.

As each decade passes we learn more about ourselves. As Carrie Bradshaw said "Your 20’s are to make mistakes, your 30’s are to learn your lessons and your 40’s are to pay for the drinks."  

Though I like that Bradshaw was correct that I made mistakes in my 20's and the object of my 30's is to learn from those mistakes, I don't think I will be passing any drinks in my 40's - literally. Hence, I came up with a modified quote regarding the way we age. 

Play. Discover. Mistakes. Become.

Childhood – We play to learn during our childhood years.

Teenager – We discover to learn during our teenage years.

20s – We make mistakes to learn what makes us, us.

30s – We take what we learned from the previous decades; and become who we were meant to be. 

Today, I turn into who I was meant to become. It is our experiences that show us the path we need to follow. Each day is seized as an opportunity to learn. If we don't learn from these mistakes, we are repeating them. George Santaya, 19th-century poet and philosopher, said it best when he quoted: "If you don't learn from your mistakes, you are condemned to repeat them." 

This journey couldn't have been possible for the people who have made it worthwhile. In life we just don't make mistakes by ourselves, we learn how to improve as we interact with other people. People are the substance towards making our lives worthwhile.

I hope to become a better person from friends, family and acquaintances. I don't know everything, and as Henry David Thoreau quoted, "Someone is always your superior." 

My success stems from the help that others give me. I am humble that I realize that I could never achieve goals without the people in my life. But, I become great when I can include people along my life journey.

I hope to learn from you. Grow from you. Ultimately, becoming the man that I need to become for you. Our journey is worthless without family and friends. They should mean the world. I hope that as I include them in this journey that when I turn 40 that I can pass the drinks around - figuratively.  

Cheers to you, my friends and my family. Cheers to the new decade. Cheers on becoming the man that I am meant to become. Today, I turn 30!

Journal's note: This is the last reflection in this series. I am grateful for the people that have journeyed this life with me. I will be posting more blogs in the future, and I look forward to others reading my blog. As I have stated in a previous blog post, I use this blog improving upon my craft. Thank you everyone, and I love you all!

Reflection before I turn 30: I want real change (Week 13)

"I want real change. I want them to listen to me, because I know that I am right! I ignore the voice inside me telling me that I might be wrong. I know that others are wrong, because I know everything about a subject. I know that they are wrong because I am right. I will change the world through words. I will yell and scream at people who don't listen. I will belittle them if needed as to make them feel guilty while I feel superior. 

I am superior enough that I don't need to humble myself. I don't need to humble myself, because I know everything. I know everything because I know everything about this subject, and all manner of all learning can just shove it. People's ideas don't matter, because I matter. I want change, because I have the words that will create that change. 

I am the change - that voice inside my head said it."

How many of us know people who act like they know everything? How many of us fight tooth - and - nail because we think we know everything? I wager that all of us know somebody who thinks they know everything; and they will fight to change your mind over it. 

I will admit that even though I know a lot of things, I don't know everything. This past decade has taught me a valuable lesson that a little of something isn't a lot of everything. In the minute time that we are here on this Earth, not one person will know everything. The average human being lives an average lifespan of 80 years. The time that humans have been here on this Earth has been 200,000 years. The universe has been around for over 14.6 billion years. In 80 years can one person really know the 14.6 billion years worth of secrets? 

See where I am going with this statement? 

I used to think that I can share everything with people. In my late teens, I had a turning point that taught me that not everybody can be trusted. The lesson that I learned is why we can't change people's minds is because people are protected by their biases and their prejudices. We can try to change their minds, but in the end we are creating contention rather than creating the positive change that we had hoped. 

Noticing that I was creating contention everywhere I went, I started to look inward asking myself if words can create the change that I want? As I have said in my previous blog, "Alone in second person", words provide a linear explanation subverting all the other human senses; thus providing a more convoluted viewpoint. Hence, I have learned that the old adage of "actions speak louder than words" applies here. 

Since words can only be heard, actions can be seen, heard and touched by the results we produce. We can argue our viewpoint hoping that others will follow suit, but actions gives a path that others can pursue. In reality, there will be those who talk of change while there will be those who will be the change. 

If I want real change, I need set the example by producing action. My actions tangibly show my thoughts, my feelings and my words. Out of all the lessons that I have posted these past 13 weeks, this is the lesson that has touched me the most. I will be reverberating this thought throughout my next decade. 

Journal's note: Next week will be my last blog entry in this series. I won't share the topic, but I can say that this journey would not have been possible without certain people along the way. 

Reflection before I turn 30: The Real Truth (Week 12)

This past decade has taught me a lot about myself. It has taught me my likes and my dislikes. It has taught me more as a person. It has taught me how far I can push myself. But, I have found that it has taught me that the real truth begins inside.

Growing up, I always thought I had a pretty good grasp who I was as a person. When I was child, I was an introverted person. When I arrived towards high school, I become more extroverted and confident. When I became a young adult, I was curious and self - independent. In each of these stages, I grew into a different person. That's a strange conception, because if I am the same person then why did I change over time?

The interesting part about me is that my personality never changed, it was the way that I conveyed that personality. I have discovered that as we grow we discover who we are inside - hence, the greatest truth. As each year passes, we discover things that we may not have discovered about ourselves that shape our viewpoints, our biases, our ideals; and ultimately, a better self. I have discovered that the greatest lessons that we can learn are one's that nobody can teach us. Ultimately, it is our life; and those lessons that we learn day - in and day - out that shape us because we experience them.

In two weeks, I am going to be closing a bittersweet decade full of sorrow, pain and joy all blended into one interesting concoction. However, I wouldn't take anything back that I have experienced. Though sometimes I wished that I had learned these lessons sooner, I know that it wouldn't have been the right time nor the right decision. For example, my decision to attend Brigham Young University - Idaho. Many of you don't know this fact about me, but I was accepted into University of Washington which has a notorious medical program. In the beginning, I wanted to become a medical doctor which is why University of Washington appealed to me. Nevertheless, I chose Brigham Young University - Idaho for several reasons - reasons that I now know were the best decisions of my life. Due to my choice, I was able to meet my best friend, graduate, meet stellar people; and gain some miraculous experiences. Reflecting upon my life, I have noticed how blessed I am to be in the right place at the right time - always.

Though sometimes the moments that I have had were trialing, I have learned a valuable lesson. This lesson is learned from the movie The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. In this movie, the manager makes a quote, "everything will be alright in the end if it isn't alright then it isn't the end".

Even as I reach thirty years old, and I know that I my future isn't secure, I know that it isn't the end because things in my life are still not alright. I hope to keep pushing learning from the lessons that I have learned this past decade. I wake up renewed ready to take the day because I am ready to live.

Ready to live the next decade with an invigorated mind. Ready to seek the real truth. Ready to be me when I turn thirty.

Journal's note: I will be talking about real change. People talk of change, but do they really want change? These are my thoughts for next week.

Reflection before I turn 30: I'm holding the pen (Week 11)

I hold a pen. I like fine tip, gel tipped pens. I have many of them. They write smoothly, and they write cleanly. I find that my writing is neater and less masculine.

Choosing the right pen helps me make fewer errors, and helps me convey the right message. Since I hold the pen, I should be able to write my own life. However, that hasn't always been the case.

Too long I have let others tell me what to do thinking that a naive 20 - some - year - old couldn't make his own decisions. Too long I looked immature and indecisive because I couldn't make my own decisions. Too long I cowered in fear over certain decisions allowing my emotions overcome me. Too long I couldn't hold the pen and write!

As I turn 30 years old, I have to remember that this is my life; and nobody else lives it for me. I will be the one who will live the consequences. Allowing others to write the story for me will only leave me feeling I am writing their story for them. Sometimes this can leave feelings of confusion and regret.

As John Greenleaf Whittier, a poet, penned, "The saddest words of tongue or pen the saddest are these it might have been."

We each have a purpose or destiny that burns inside of us. Each of us are imbued with greatness that has to be tapped and discovered. Whether you believe your worth to be insignificant or significant it is much grandeur than you can imagine. As each of us make decisions in our lives, we touch others along the way.  Sometimes, you may not realize that saying something  or helping someone may help them become the next great figure in our generation - don't be myopic with your life. You may not realize that each of our actions has a domino affect that changes the course of history. The Lamen's term for this is the Domino Effect. Like Dominoes, it needs a push. You need to take that push - a decision to act for yourself.

One example of this Domino Effect is Anne Sullivan. Anne Sullivan had blindness that left her unable to read or write. She could have easily given up, and said that her life wasn't worth it. However, living her life allowed her to meet and teach Helen Keller who had even more disabilities than Anne. Helen was both deaf and blind. Nevertheless, these two unlikely people became companions that helped Helen become one of the most prolific writers.

Now just imagine if Anne Sullivan committed suicide? We would never have had a Helen Keller, and more importantly we wouldn't have you. You, my readers, are important people in another person's life. I just hope that we are writing our stories that is both worthwhile and open - minded beyond our myopic viewpoints.

It is important to make your lives worthwhile, because the magic of our lives is important; and immortal. As Bruce Lee said, "The key to immortality is living a life worth living."

Think of the many great people in history that have ever lived. Think of their accomplishments. They may not physically be around, but we remember them because they did something worthwhile. Their deeds and their actions live forever in the history books. Your actions may change the course of history either by helping someone who will or you become part of that history. The course of our lives transcends through the eternities because the majesty of creativity lives within us all.

We need to learn how to tap into that creativity. One author, and vice president of the Orlando Magic, Pat Williams said, "Some people say that creativity is a talent you are either born with or not. I'm convinced that creativity is a skill that can be learned and nurtured. All people are essentially creative because we are all made in the image of a creative God. Creativity is our birthright, imagination is the essence of our being. Only when we are dreaming big dreams are we truly fulfilling our God-given purpose in life."

I write this blog because writing has always been my passion figuratively and literally speaking. However, I intend to write more in order for me to better my craft. I can't say that by writing once I am good. Like everything in life, it takes practice. Life takes practice, and it takes creativity to conquer any challenge that we face.

As I turn 30, I need to learn how to write the story for myself. Now, I just need to find a finer tipped pen.

Journal's note: Next week, truth comes in many form of subtleties that is usually expressed by word. However, this truth that I will discuss next week is never seen. Stay tuned!