Reflection: It starts with a child

Imagine.

Close your eyes. 

Take your mind back to when you were a child. 

Do you remember holding your first toy? How excited were you when you were holding that toy? Was your first toy a Barbie doll? Did that doll make you feel like you had a real friend?

Was it a G.I. Joe action figure? In your mind's imagination, taking your mind towards the action.

Was it a Power Wheels vehicle? Now, you felt like you were a grown up ready for the open road! 

Each toy had a personality that brought you joy - joy that made you feel alive! Almost like Toy Story, it sparked your imagination that developed you - developing your imagination. Can you remember those moments? 

I can remember these memories.

Being five years of age, I remember always running towards the toy area dragging my mother to buy each toy. To my mother she saw her wallet becoming light, but in my mind I saw paradise. Each toy was a world that I could create as my own. My imagination was sparked. I felt alive! 

Christmas was always a delight. I remember stacks of presents. Presents that meant toys. Each toy had a personality that enriched my personality. It fueled my dreams - sparking my imagination. I once wanted to be a medical doctor - pediatrician to be exact. I would use my mother's stethoscope as I placed it on a Pound Puppy.

I remember the feeling everytime I played with my toys. I didn't play, because I wanted to have fun. I played, because I felt my imagination and my creativity being sparked.

Too many people want their children to grow up - make adult decisions - crippling their right to imagine and choose. However, this can be detrimental towards a child's growth. Listening to the Youtube channel TheAtheistVoice Hemant Mehta has said in an episode that teaching a child Santa Clause will make it easier to teach a child there is no God. I have heard many secularists make their children free thinkers. But, how can children free think if adults tell that them there is no God? Did they arrive towards that conclusion themselves?

In December 2017, I had a conversation with my supervisor's supervisor, who, in his 50s, has a three year-old daughter. The rest of his children are in their mid - 20s. He told me that he had a down day, but his daughter came out in a fairy suit just to cheer him up. My supervisor told me he could have been upset with his daughter, but he couldn't be upset towards a child's creativity. It really made his day he said.

Talking about God, and how belief correlates with imagination, he agreed with me that when we take away imagination and belief we cripple the future. In other words, many of the greatest innovators were once children whose imagination was sparked by toys or the encouragement to believe. Criss Angel, the magician, bought magic kits when he was a child whenever he had the money, thus making him one of the greatest magicians of our time. William Hearst traveled with his parents around Europe inspiring Hearst Castle.

I know that my imagination has been sparked by the places that I have traveled and the toys that I have played. It developed my mind while fueling my imagination of tomorrow. We can't predict the future, but we can predict how we shape the future through our children.

As many know, Toys 'R Us is closing its doors. For many this is just another business closing, and it doesn't matter much. But, this is much more than a toy store closing. I see an icon that has inspired many great architects that bought their first Lego blocks at Toys 'R Us; or the next fashion designer as they played with their Barbie dolls. Each toy inspired the next generation, because we inspired them when they were first children. Furthermore, it isn't the children's lives being affected it is the employees who have families that they have to feed. This is more than just a toy icon needing to be saved. This is the imagination of the future.

I hope that you consider donating towards the cause of billionaire Isaac Larian's cause. He has created a gofundme page where you can donate towards the cause. I agree with the him that the pipeline will be too long should the last American toy icon be liquidated. Here is that gofundme page: https://www.gofundme.com/helpsavetoysrus.

I hope that when you donate that you're not thinking of just saving a business; but rather saving the future. After all, imagination started with a child. 

Glimmer: Familiar in second person

We live in familiar settings, and those familiar settings sometimes can make us feel complacent and comfortable. Recently, I have been reflecting upon my "familiar" self wondering how I can change routines. I have come a long way in the last decade, and I know that constant change is what I need for constant improvement.

It is easy to judge based upon the outside, because we like tangible things. But, the things that are intangible, mainly found within our minds and souls, those things scare us. We would rather judge other people because it is easy and familiar. People's growth into something better or the change of what we don't perceive because we have become familiar frightens us.

Familiar to our own little bubble. Familiar to settings and knowledge. Familiar to what can't be changed. Familiar to the pain as people relish in it. Familiar to the tears and fears that people cry. Familiar to our own voices as our own voices silence those that want to be heard. Familiar because we have become comfortable.

This is familiar in second person:

7 A.M.

You're trained from sunlight's day to do a routine that never swayed. For they only see when you arose, your predecessors didn't plan for the day not knowing how the day would close.

Morning arises, the routine stays the same. Nevertheless, you don't expect that cars can take different routes, chickens peck in different directions; and the weather changes. You get ready for the day knowing the bus will stop at the same place.

8 A.M.

School time arrives, the sun rises in the sky. Half hour trip towards school the sky changes towards a rainy day. You didn't expect it to happen as the weather man forecasted sunny days.

Life takes an unexpected turn as weather changes always foretell bad roads that lie ahead.

9 A.M.

Class starts.

Taking notes minding your own business, Jake, behind you, bullies you and teases you. Sneakily, he flicks your ear while every student quietly and busily takes an important test. Annoyed, you turn towards him and punch him in the face.

Teacher's back was turned, didn't see the incident, and blames you for the cause. Distraught, he whisks you towards detention. Automatic detention automatically fails the test which was a third of your grade.

You fall into despair as your thoughts whirl. You know your predecessors won't understand that it wasn't your fault because they will judge you based upon what they have seen not what they want to hear. They don't see that you have been trying. They see what they want to perceive as they have become familiar with judging you. You know in your heart you have tried. You know that they can't see what is inside your head and heart, and all that pain inside, because they find judging is easy.

The teacher will not listen, because like your predecessors, they still judge you based upon past experiences - controlled by their schemas. As people say experience is the best teacher but does experience transcend every other person's experience? Does every person become a business person? Does every person become a doctor? Does every person become bullied throughout their life? Does every person become addicted to drugs? Each of these occupations and instances will have different experiences that NEVER transcend into another.

You connect the dots.

You realize that experience isn't the best teacher. Earning the experience is the best teacher. For example, how many people receive their high school diplomas but actually value their education? Earning something is an achievement valued. People can experience education but very few value it.

The bell rings. Three hours pass as lunch has arrived.

12 P.M.

You sit alone as you have no friends.

Girls and boys snicker at you. They point at you as they make fun of the clothes that you're wearing. Pain accumulating  it doesn't matter, because people would rather discriminate on what they see. They only see what is familiar to them.

Swiftly, you finish your meal. You stomp out of the cafeteria.

You head towards the bathroom where you cry your tears out. You're the only one who sees your pain as nobody will listen to your pain. How can they listen when they can't FEEL your pain?

You wipe your tears trying to stay strong. Class must continue.

1 P.M. to 3 P.M.

You sit in class ready to listen. You look around glad that Jake isn't around.

Science is the topic.

The teacher speaks about the probability of lightning striking a person. He opens a National Geographic magazine that he had read earlier.

According to National Geographic, the odds of becoming a lightning victim in the United States in any one year is 1 in 700,000. The odds of being struck in your lifetime is 1 in 3,000. You remove your eyes from your notes as you fixate them on the teacher.

Your thoughts race. Lightning never strikes in the same place twice. Nevertheless, it increases its chances of killing a person over their lifetime.

The bell rings. The final two classes.

3 P.M.

School has ended, time to take the bus. The sky has not cleared, and the rain heavily downpours. More signs that things are not going to go well. You know it. You feel it. Yet, no one will understand it.

4 P.M.

You're home. You continue homework. Problems swirl in your head.

5 P.M. to 8 P.M.

Last problem, until your thoughts are interrupted by a familiar yell. Trepidation swells inside.

There was an answering machine message that stated that you have been placed in detention. You try to voice your opinion, but your voice falls on deaf ears as experience and schema's cloud judgment.

Predecessors claim that you won't change even though you try to side your worth. Nevertheless, you aren't heard. They want change and you want fairness; but both can't compete especially if there is tolerance wanted. They judge while they don't listen. How can they listen when they won't listen to what they can't see. How can they understand when living with familiar habits of just watching television?

Like lightning it strikes even if you don't want it to strike, but understands less often why it struck. When it does strike, it kills the person that they judge because they are familiar with ONLY their settings.

6 P.M. Dinnertime

Same continued rant as pain has sweltered. Thoughts of negativity has swirled. The worth of a person has gone. Like lightning, it has killed its victim - numb.

9 P.M.

Your day has ended. Your life has ended as pain has transcended through time all because people want to become familiar. Like the sun it rose and set in one day. But, like lightning it didn't strike twice in the same place but it struck more often in the same manner. We have become too familiar.

10 P.M.

You fall asleep. The nightmare continues. A good dream needs to take its place.

Reflection: Death provides more value

Since my sabbatical from blog writing, much has happened in the world and my life. I can't fully elaborate what is happening, but what I can say is that I know that I am on the right path. People still are kibitzers thinking that they know what is best for me, and thinking that I am still a naive child incapable of choosing for myself. Somehow, I wonder if they suggest a path for me because they can't choose a path for themselves? 

This has made me deeply ponder the shallow-individual soul. 

It would be easy to show malice, but somehow I pity them. As I write this blog, I wondered these past months what would be an effective post and critical post that would warrant a worthy return. Much reflection and meditation has transpired; and I have transcribed what would fully circumnavigate my contemplation these past months. 

In my quest to find the right words, I stumbled upon a refreshing read that was released last year. Recently, I had finished it. 

The book is titled Barking Up The Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong  by Eric Barker. A graduate of the University of Pennsylvania, he provides refreshing evidence why people are NOT succeeding either due to traditional ideas and the falsified definition of success. It was a riveting read that I couldn't halt. Simple and energetic, I encourage others to read this book. 

However, this isn't a book review. I will be borrowing quotes and research from pages that aligned with some of my thoughts sub-categorically divided into these sub - topics: The Answer You Seek, The World Will Decide For You and What We Truly Value. 

The Answer You Seek

"We are all complicated creatures whose actions and reactions are governed by a wide array of perceptions, thoughts and feelings and memories" said Dr John Gottman, author of the The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work, and the nation's leading relationship psychologist. 

We are motivated by purpose. Each of us has a different purpose inside. Without purpose, life loses meaning and loses the value that it holds. Many try seeking that purpose through people's advice or doing what society wants. Though it is wise to seek counsel, it shouldn't be the end-all solution for anyone. 

As I have stated in previous blog posts, advice and counsel doesn't transcend other people's lives because it doesn't account for all the internal factors and external factors that each of us experience. I have come to the realization that the best person equipped to answer my life questions is myself. I have done this by looking backwards from my past as it has equipped me with the answers for the future. Living for 30 years has allowed me further insight into the path that I seek, and boosted my confidence that few will never comprehend. 

In fact, it was President Theodore Roosevelt that said, “I believe that the more you know about the past, the better you are prepared for the future." Meditating upon my past has allowed me to know the path that God would want me to pursue. It has allowed peace knowing that the future that lies ahead me is bright. 

In Barker's book he answers the question: "How do I...be more successful in life?" I am sure that many of us has asked that personally about our lives. And, he provides an answer: "First, know thyself. This phrase has been uttered many times throughout history. It's carved into stone at the Oracle of Delphi. The Gospel of Thomas says, 'If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you'." 

Too many times, we go towards self - help gurus or self - help books (I am not endorsing that these are bad methodologies) seeking for an answer or for a purpose when the answer that we already seek is within ourselves. 

Simply, Mufasa from the Lion King said it best, "Remember Who You Are." Knowing your weaknesses, your strengths, your past; and being simultaneously cognizant of your surroundings can better equip you towards your future. 

Learn to trust yourself. Learn to love yourself. The answer is already inside of you. 

The World Will Decide For You 

If you don't know the answer already, that is alright. I just hope that you find it soon, because the world will decide for you. This can be a hellish ordeal - here's why. 

The world has a societal rules that it expects people to follow, and if you fail at life society will abnormally look at you. In contrast, if you break the rules society still abnormally looks at you. Somehow, it is an abysmal double - standard that if you do what society wants either way you're a failure. 

And, you are a failure until you know the answer. With the tech industry at a boom and the millionaire having an average GPA of 2.9 (Also, found in Barker's book), society has noticed a shift from traditional ways of earning money. 

If you're not cognizant, this can be hard to find the solution especially for "filtered leaders". According to Barker, "filtered leaders" are people who rises up through formal channels, getting promoted, playing by the rules and meeting expectations. For those that play by the rules, it can be a huge blow especially when losing a job. Research shows that when you're unemployed, their happiness drops 120 percent more than those who aren't as conscientious. Without a path to follow they're lost. 

Barker further cites: "Eran Shor, a professor at McGill University, found that being jobless increases premature mortality by a whopping 63%. And preexisting health issues made no difference, implying that it's not a correlation, it's very likely causation." 

I hope that you don't become that 63% only to find that it is too late to discover what you want. Our lives are precious, and I hope you realize that this is a one - way trip towards the grave. If you don't discover what you want then you will regret it. In fact, the number - one regret that people had on their deathbeds was this: "I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected for me." 

Do you know yourself? Are you letting others define that story for you? Are you making excuses such as: that isn't how the cards are being dealt - that it is just fate. Let's be clear about the distinction between fate and destiny. Barker cites UCLA Professor Howard Suber defined fate as the thing we can not avoid. Destiny is the thing we must chase and what we must bring to fruition. 

Taking that definition, your fate is only written if you say it is written. These past two months I had this ephiphany: "Some people are living to live while some people are living to die". If you're living to die than your destiny is already written then why are you choosing to live? 

It would behoove us that we must show some humility that we are given a gift to live ourselves. There is an old saying that goes: "The past is already written. The future has not yet happened. The present is happening right now, and that is why it is called a gift." 

It is gift that you have been given a brain and a body to do incredible things. Don't let society define you. Your life has already defined you. Make it happen! 

What We Truly Value

Sometimes we don't value life, and that can be the most troublesome error that leads towards our downfall. Upon observation, I feel that we have become a narcissistic society more focused on helping ourselves rather than others. As Dale Carnegie, author of How To Win Friends and Influence People, said people are selfish! Subconsciously, they think they are helping other people, but their minds are clouded by their enigmatic biases. 

Don't believe me? Take the current government shutdown that is happening on Capital Hill, 2018. As I was watching Youtube videos listening on interviews through local media outlets, all I heard was the "he - said, she - said" approach. People were more interested in blaming the other party rather than taking accountability for their wrongs. Simply, we are not a nation of adults but a nation of babies waiting for our rattles to be handed to us. 

Sadly, we really do like hearing the sound of our voices rather the voices of others. Barker cites neuroscientist Diana Tamir who found that your brain gets more pleasure from you talking about yourself than it does from food or money. Astoundingly horrid! 

What will it take for us to value trust, service and love for others again? Death! No, literally death. When people die that's when they value life even more. Take the quote above regarding the number 1 regret. 

Death both in a literal sense and a metaphorical sense. Dr. Gottman said that only when divorce happens and they sign off their assets only then do they realize the importance of their spouse and their marriage. 

Truly, we are myopic creatures. Sometimes, I feel that I have lost hope for the future of humanity wondering how did the dichotomy have to be belligerent when it wasn't always the case. Do we really have to annihilate ourselves until we realize what truly is valuable? 

I hope that it doesn't reach that point. But, somehow the research says otherwise. I guess we don't value life as much as we claim. Does death provide more value than life?

Time to choose.