Reflection: Countdown to something new (Week 0 - Introduction)

Reflection.

These past months, I have been reflecting upon this past decade.

This past decade has taught me a lot about myself, and the things that are important to me. As a decade closes in 14 weeks, and I turn 30 years old things that used to matter don't matter as much anymore.

As every decade closes, we discover more about ourselves. We grow, and we become better people. We meet people along the way that help change us. And, some of these people help us achieve our dreams.

I know that I wouldn't have made it this far in life had it not been for certain people. Overall, many people have taught  me many lessons that have made me the man that I am today. Over the next 14 weeks, I want to highlight those lessons as both a reminder to me and something that I can share with people.

I am blessed to have this life. And, I hope that these lessons will shed light as to why I am blessed. I couldn't have made it this far from friends and family.

So, thank you. This is my reflection to a countdown towards a new decade.

This will be my reflection for the next 14 weeks.

Reflection before I turn 30: Countdown to Humility (Week 1)

Reflection before I hit 30: Countdown to Humility

Why a countdown to humility?

For me humility has been a journey understanding the meaning behind the word and putting action behind the word. Many of you may know me as an outspoken, extroverted and cocky person. I want to say this was not always so.

As a child growing up, I was the complete opposite. I was introverted, and shy. And, there is a psychological reason behind this attitude; but that is a personal story for another time. If it weren't for the help of my parents, who would tell me to stop being grouchy; and high school jocks telling me to be more confident in myself I would have never been more social.

Now, I tested my social waters in college; and this was the first time I truly tested it. In high school and middle school, I didn't have a social life. In fact, it was always about goals and ambitions. Many of my family and closest friends knew how packed my day - to - day schedule consisted to the point that I was sleeping between an average of two to four hours per day - only catching up my sleep on the weekends! Some people from church had asked my parents and I how I was able to maintain a schedule while still maintaining on the high school honor roll. To be honest, I didn't know. I guess it was my drive of wanting to excel that sustained me.

Nevertheless, my well - being, psychological circle - a circle that consists of social, academics and physical - was imbalanced. More than 90 percent of my time was devoted towards academics and physical with very little time to social activities. Of course, this drained my way of being able to learn how to properly interact and socially interact with people. Furthermore, this made me both shy and awkward around social situations which resulted in me looking prideful.

Over this past decade, I have had to learn a delicate balance between being who I am as a person and how I interact with people. I realize that being considerate about other people's feelings is far more important than how I should act in every situation. In other words, just because I can act that way doesn't mean I should act that way every time. In fact, it started my journey towards humility.

The most important lesson that I have learned about humility compared to other noble characteristics is that it is an endless lesson. Why? Well, C.S. Lewis said it best derived from his book Mere Christianity. He stated:

In other words, I have learned that humility isn't something that I can think I am good at doing. It is something that people notice. In fact, I taught myself a lesson in my early 20's that the moment I catch myself saying that I am humble, because I believed that I am humble, does that, in fact, make me humble? It does not. Why? Because, I was the one that said it. In fact, that would make me prideful because I already thought that I am humble; and I didn't need to humble myself ANYMORE. 

This faulty thinking tripped me up in my teen years, and I had to learn this lesson the harsh way with my outspoken personality into my early 20's years. It took me awhile until I learned this lesson, but I had lost friends along the way; and I had upset family members. This wake - up taught me that I needed to change. 

And, that change was humility. 

Earlier I stated that I needed to find that delicate balance between being me and how I interact with people. I know that I can come off as arrogant when I share things with people, but I hope that was never my intention. My intention is to make people feel included as I want people to come along for the ride. Since this is a new decade, and I am learning to be more humble - the most important trait I am improving - I hope that I can learn from people; and apologize to people that I have hurt along the way. 

I hope this new decade in my life can be an endless lesson of humility. As I learn these lessons, and as I learn to improve my character, I know that it may be a steep price to pay. Nevertheless, the steeper the price the more priceless will be the lesson of humility. 

These lessons I look forward to taking with me into my new decade, and growing from it. It isn't over as this is my countdown to humility. 

An important reflection before I hit 30. 

JOURNAL SIDE NOTE: 

I know that as each week passes, I will be sharing personal things about my life in these blog posts - something I am careful of sharing - but I know these lessons have been important in my life that I felt needed to be shared. 

Furthermore, I have read other blog posts who have reflected upon their 20's before hitting 30 writing small blurbs about lessons they learned. However, I have learned a lot this past decade that I didn't want a 30 page blog post. I wanted to make this blog post easy to read; and hopefully, enjoyable. 

Next week, the lesson I want to share will be about boomerangs; and how that lesson helped me in my life. 

Glimmer: Fate in Second Person

This week's glimmer has been nostalgia regarding the moments of my life. I have been reflecting upon two quotes that I have heard in my life that I find that many of us don't realize.

The first quote is from the movie The Last Samurai where Nathan Algren narrates, ".....I am beset by the ironies of my life".

The second quote, which is also in this blog entry, is a quote I heard from an elderly woman, whom I know, that I heard a long time ago. The quote narrates, "Insight into your past provides foresight into your future".

These two quotes are dear to my heart because it has been making me reflect upon the word, fate. Lately, I have been wondering how much of our lives is by choice and how much of our lives are predestined. Also, since I hit the big 3 - 0 this year I have been pondering a lot regarding this past decade. Pondering what I can learn from it.

Let me embellish one example, and there are hundreds of examples; but this one is simple that many people can relate. This example draws upon receiving a university degree whether that be a bachelors degree or an associates degree. Now, some may say that earning a degree is propagated within your control. After all, a person does the application process; once accepted a person does the assignments hoping to earn that degree. Simple, right?

However, let us throw some factors - these are some examples that I reflected upon - that might hinder a person from earning that degree. They may find that they have a learning disability during their college years that might hinder them from earning that degree. They may get into a car accident which places them into a coma. They lose a loved one that completely changes them.

Now, some of you may be saying, that these are external factors outside of their control. Yes, they are outside their control; but most people when they start a goal, they have a passion and a drive that shines within their eyes that no matter what the obstacle, they would achieve their goal. No matter how much help they receive they can't achieve their goal; and the only other option is to give up.

For example, Helen Keller was both blind and deaf which didn't hinder her from earning her college degree. Beethoven was deaf but that didn't stop him from making some of the most beautiful music the world that has ever known. These are two successful examples, but think about the people in your life that have outside factors outside their control that also have dreams. Think about your life, and how many dreams didn't come true? How many have actually achieved THEIR desires?

How much of it is by choice? And, how much is predestined? And, that's where this glimmer starts. These are broad strokes drawn from my life as fate is drawn in second person:

"Your fates are intertwined. You cannot change what you cannot hide.

"You have tried to change the inevitability only to see a road parallel to things past. Alas, your the only one that understands these ironies.

"You have reflected upon your life many hours, many days and many nights. Summed up in years as you have journeyed this life alone.

"Alone it may seem your past shows to feel that you know insight into your past provides foresight into your future.

"That last phrase, 'insight into your past provides foresight into your future' makes you ponder  upon memories. It gives you hope that you may have all the answers.

"You realize then that life can not be chance random processes hiding the subtleties of every irony. No!

"You know that life is Governed by natural laws paralleled by things past.

"A past that only you can see. Only answer. Only understand.

"You know now that your world is going to come full circle. Your reflection. Your.....

"FATE."