Reflection before I turn 30: Life's Pensieve (Week 6)

Figure 1

What if you could know everything that is happening in your life, and have an answer for WHY it is happening? Would that interest you? Would it interest you that you could look up any moment in your life never forgetting a single detail?

In Harry Potter, that is one of the many functions of a Pensieve. For those that don't know what is a Pensieve, it is a basin where wizards and witches can literally view their memories. Their memories are extracted from their minds that can be stored later to be viewed in a basin. Wizards use it to look back on their memories, and relive certain past details. In the Harry Potter books, it was used to piece together clues regarding the Horcruxes (See Figure 1).

Though we can't use magic to extract memories, we can use words to help embellish a world that will help us remember our past. These "words" that I am referring towards is creating a journal, diary or scrapbook - anything that can help you to remember past events.

Preparing for the future is just as important as remembering the past. In fact, it could even be more important. As George Santanya, a Spanish poet, once stated, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."

This is vital to note as many people wonder "why" bad things happen in their life as if it is just random occurrences. The more colloquial phrase that people use is that "shit happens" as if they can't explain why it is happening to them. The most important question that I don't think anyone asks is what can you do to prepare for disaster? As my social worker used to counsel me, you can't control the external factors. You can only control yourself.

One can predict the future by preparing now. For example, a seismologist can record data to predict the next volcanic event or earthquake event. By knowing this data, people can create an emergency kit; and prepare for that disaster. Your journal is your data of your life.

In a fast paced world, I don't think we take the time to "smell the roses". When disaster strikes that's when we remember the roses only to be pricked by thorns. To that I say, well why didn't you water the garden? Nothing can be predicted 100 percent, but people should have a good enough idea what is happening in their life that they can prepare for it. Only you will know that answer as you're living your life 24/7. If you're observant you will notice the internal patterns and external patterns that may be occurring in your life. As I stated in a previous blog post, one's life or advice doesn't transcend into another person's life.

World famous violinist, Lindsey Stirling, states at 49 minutes and 20 seconds that writing in her journal, "that the you of the past is so much smarter." (Attached is that link below. I would highly recommend watching this one hour long video. It is really inspiring. Just click to watch.)

Lindsey Stirling Face to Face

Over this past decade, I have learned that writing a journal is an art. It takes practice. But, I can testify that the more I write in my journal the more I do become smarter and wiser. Ms. Stirling is correct. Furthermore, I have turned to my journal on numerous occasions when I wanted an answer - it is that thorough. Just this 2017, I underwent therapy; and I was wondering why I have depressive mood swings. Bringing this up with my therapists, they couldn't answer that question for me. Not knowing the answer either, I decided to turn towards my journal which provided me the answer. I have found that when I am focused on something regardless whether I attain it or not keeps my focus. It also provides purpose to my life - purpose on how to keep going.

I know that this is an important lesson that I hope to take into my 30's. Though it is important to learn from the past, one shouldn't be bogged down by it. We should remember the past to help us observe the trends within our life. My journal has helped me in this endeavor, and I will continue writing in it. I hope to become a better person because of my journal.

This is an important reflection before 30.

Journal note: As each week passes, I will get deeper with these reflections. Next week, I have learned a valuable lesson about life's real trial. Stay tuned.

Reflection before I turn 30: Water and Oil Don't Mix (Week 5)

Have you mixed water and oil together? For those that haven't, I will fill you in on a secret. They don't mix. What will happen is the oil will just stir like a glob inside water.

The reason why I bring up mixing water and oil is the metaphorical concept behind business.

Before I go into the details of the metaphor, I want to touch basis on why I didn't learn this concept sooner. First, I want to say that my favorite entrepreneur is Walt Disney. Walt became my favorite entrepreneur when I started studying different entrepreneur's biographies at age 19. It touched my heart, because Walt always placed the family first. The fact that he was able to attain a successful marriage, and achieve his dreams is an impressive feat.

Upon reading Walt's biography, one of the lessons that made his life successful was that he believed his employees were his friends. Working at the Disney Studio during Walt's time people were on a first name basis. In fact, Walt would reprimand a person if they ever called him Mr. Disney.

Walt had many great qualities that I started to emulate how I deal with my professional relationships. There seemed to be a trending way that entrepreneurs did business. They entrusted people that were either family or friend recruiting them as a business partner. Some examples, include, but not limited to Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak; Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Suavarin; and Walt Disney and Roy Disney. Two of these relationships were successful, but two also were strained relationships. Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Suavarin were no longer best friends when Eduardo's name was removed from the Facebook masthead. Walt and Roy Disney had constant fights over finances that it was a miracle that they stayed as business partners while not disowning each other as brothers.

I could find other examples regarding the successes and failures of friendships in business. For some it works, and for others it doesn't work. I have learned a valuable lesson that if there is inconsistency in the answer then it is best that one should stay away from it. In this case, it means that it is best that friendships don't belong in business relationships.

I used to believe that a person can be both a business partner and friend. But, my experience has changed that viewpoint. First, it provides confusion of relationships. This causes bitterness in parties especially when there are disagreements and tough calls that need to be made. Second, favoritism can take place especially among employees which can cause disharmony in the workplace. Third, treating your friends like customers makes other people feel like they are being sold. This feeling of being sold can make people feel like they are a dollar sign rather than a person whom you value.

It is important to note it prevents fraternization among people we consider friends.

I could talk more about this lesson, but it is important note that I need not to mix water and oil; and not friends as both business partners and people I value.

This is an important reflection before 30.

Journal note: I will be talking about the importance of keeping a journal, and how my journal has been a benefit.

Reflection before I turn 30: The Real Story of Success (Week 4)

There once was a boy who dreamed big dreams.

He dreamed of going to college majoring in biology with the hopes that he wanted to become a pediatrician. But, failed his first semester of college.

He continued throughout college, but continued to be placed on academic probation.

Though he dreamed, he experienced many failures that prevented him from achieving his dream of just graduating.

What started out pursuing a medical career ended up just a dream towards graduating.

If you haven’t figured it out, this story is referring towards me.

Now, I want to be clear that I didn’t purposefully place myself on academic probation. I tried my best, and due to certain circumstances out of my control it happened that way.

But, throughout my college years I was very observant regarding the word success.

Observing my surroundings, I wondered why is it that there are people out there in the world who don’t attend college, and they are successful? Why is it that there are business leaders, actors, musicians and people who have dreams that don’t make it?

And, those people who work towards their dreams; and win usually don’t have college degrees. Furthermore, no matter how hard a person works it will NEVER work out.

Over these years, I have tried different methods and different programs working towards different goals; but most of them don’t work out. Why?

The nonsensical common answer is it wasn’t meant to be. But, that doesn’t provide a logical point of view. Personally, I have found that the reason why certain things don’t work out is because there is more than one answer to success.

In other words, we let people tell us how to be successful rather than follow our intuition and reflect upon ourselves why we aren’t successful. I have learned a valuable lesson that each of our own experiences will usually never work on other people’s lives. Why? Because our own experiences were made for our OWN. Our own experiences can’t account for all the variables that most people experience. Our own experiences can’t predict or can’t teach others how to live their life. One person’s life doesn’t transcend other people’s lives; otherwise, we would all be successful. In other words, if going to college is the key towards success than why is it that more than 70 percent of university students are in debt; and can’t find jobs?

Just providing one example, our own bias provides a myopic viewpoint towards life.

Artist, Rag ‘N Bone Man wrote a song that provides the depth of tactility that my words provide. That song is posted above. 

Sometimes, it is hard to find out our own successful path because we are programmed since birth to want to follow rather than lead. There are many good books out there on the market that teaches people how to reprogram their minds to lead rather than follow. As Dr. John C. Maxwell philosophy states, “Everything rises and falls on leadership”.

It is important to remember that success does have more than one answer. As Steve Jobs quoted, “Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower”.

Learn to innovate. Learn to design. Learn to lead.

This is a principle that I wanted to reflect upon. This lesson is something that I look forward to bringing into the new decade, and leading with it. I hope to lead with the mindset that there is always more than one answer towards success.

An important reflection before I hit 30.  

Journal's note: Next week, I will be talking about how water and oil don't mix; and how this metaphor relates to what I have learned regarding business.

Reflection before I turn 30: Countdown to "Working Like An Ant" (Week 3)

Ants are fascinating creatures.

They work all day without stopping, and they serve the queen in the process.

They can build fascinating structures, and carry structures that are ten times their body weight.

Their impressive work ethic astounds me. Hence, I have learned that a person can learn a lot from an ant.

The part that intrigues me about ants is how they they can work little-by-little, and accomplish a lot.

Before I continue, I want to add this is not an original concept that I learned. I first encountered the lesson, "Working Like An Ant" in Dr. Henry Cloud's book 9 Things Graduates Must Do To Succeed In Life.

Providing context, I read this book after I graduated college. The wisdom in this tiny, but powerful book provided both direction towards my life and wisdom I needed.

One of my favorite principles that I learned from this book was working like an ant.

This principle was not only fun to read, but it helped me improve upon myself. One thing that I have done poorly is worry too much about the future that I can't control. In fact, I would worry too much about the future that I couldn't focus on today - work that presently needed to be done.

In this principle, Dr. Cloud has the same problem where he worries about the massive dissertation that he has to complete. However, he remembered how an ant works that if you work little - by - little a person can accomplish a lot.

I used to think that an hour in a day wasn't a lot of time. However, being the in the military I have learned that if a person moves with a sense of urgency, and thinks only about what he going to do within the first minute for that first task, surprisingly, they can accomplish a lot.

We self - defeat ourselves before the task has even started, and if we forget everything that we have to do then we will accomplish a lot. Like an ant, they don't care about how much work they need accomplished. They just work!

This is a simple principle that I wanted to reflect upon. This lesson of working like an ant is something that I look forward to bringing into the new decade, and improving upon it.

An important reflection before I hit 30.

Journal's note: I talk about what I have discovered about success, and how the definition has differed for me than for other people.

Reflection before I turn 30: Countdown to Boomerangs (Week 2)

Throw a boomerang.

Go ahead, and find one. I will wait.

Have you thrown one, yet?

I'm guessing you haven't, and just would rather go on reading this blog. But, if you did or have tried throwing one in the past you may have discovered that it is rather difficult to throw. Furthermore, it is even more difficult for it to be returned. It takes skill, and most Aussies, nickname for Australians, take years to practice curving that boomerang back towards them.

And, the Boomerang Principle does take skill, and patience learning - just like learning how to properly throw a boomerang.

I first learned this principle when I bought the book by Dr John C. Maxwell titled Winning with People: Discover The People Principles That Work For You Everytime.  When I purchased this book, it wasn't my initial intention to buy it. In fact, I was planning to buy another business book. I don't know what prompted me the beginning semester of 2008, but I am glad that I did.

This book exposed me to Dr. Maxwell's world, and I learned a great deal of business that has only been supplemented by other books. One of the key elements that I have learned about business is that it isn't just dependent upon numbers but the people who run the business. In fact, Dr. Maxwell's philosophy is this: "Everything rises and falls on leadership".

Great leaders require us to train, mentor, understand and become examples towards people who are following you. I have discovered the best leaders care for both the people in their organization but also the people outside their organization. Though this is a people training book, this book can be used for business. I have used this book both through my personal life and professional life. It has greatly benefited me in both aspects.

Though I don't remember every principle listed in this book, the one principle that has greatly helped
me throughout my life is the principle regarding boomerangs.

Now, there is a great story that Dr. Maxwell shares regarding his father; and the rude people who worked alongside him. I suggest you pick up the book to read about it. But, the jist of the principle is "when we help others, we help ourselves".

Throughout our lives we will encounter people we won't get along, and people who will disparage us. It is easy for us to throw grudges; and judge those people. It is a human fault, and it is one that is hard to overcome. I, for one, am a forgiving person; and I do have my limitations to how many times I can forgive a person. But, the thing about the Boomerang Principle is that it taught me to continuously do good to people even though they may hurt you in the process. In time, they will return that kindness back to you. I can testify to you that it works!

In the military, I had a person that would continuously harass me and disparage me making me feel lonely. In fact, there were times I contemplated suicide over it because I felt alone and unhappy. However, I remembered this principle; and it helped me. I never talked back to this person, instead I would always act with kindness; and though it took two years before we started getting along, I learned a valuable lesson that when you act with kindness it will be returned - it will require patience.

Contention breeds hate, but kindness lasts eternally in the mind of others. What I liked about this principle is that aligns along with one of my favorite movies. In the movie Gladiator, starring Russell Crowe, there is a quote that Proximo teaches Maximus to win his freedom.

Proximo quotes: "I didn't win, because I killed quickly....win the crowd, win your freedom".

Those words, "win the crowd, win your freedom" has stuck by me these many years. Only reading Dr. Maxwell's book did I understand what winning the crowd means. This is different than pleasing people.

Pleasing people means that you change for those people so that you will fit in. Sometimes, you sacrifice parts of yourself leading towards an unhappy path. But, "winning the crowd" is different. You don't change. You return their attacks with kindness; and show them something that they have never seen or didn't expect. In other words, it is meant to inspire. Inspiration is stronger than unhappiness. When a person inspires they win the mob as did Maximus, and "have an army greater than Rome's".

I have applied these lessons to my life, and though I have been alone for most my life, I can testify that these principles are true. I just don't preach a principle, I have lived the principle.

Remember these two principles from this week's reflection: "Win the crowd" and "Boomerangs work". The steeper the price of inspiration the more priceless is your influence.

These lessons I look forward to taking with me into the new decade as I learn how to "win the crowd" better. It isn't over has this is my countdown to boomerangs.

An important reflection before I hit 30.

Journal's note: Next week, I will be talking how ants have helped teach me valuable lessons this past decade. Stay tuned!