Porches in Second Person

Just this last week, I sat on my porch watching the sunset admiring nature's painting. It is always inspiring to see how nature could have painted something magnificent which made me wonder does nature have a mind of its own?

Whether or not you believe in God, I always find it awe inspiring that no two sunsets are alike. In fact, the color patterns sometimes can be different which makes me want to believe that nature draws its sunsets with inspiration.

Inspiration can come from anywhere; and once that "ah-ha" moment comes don't let it go because it could be the most beautiful sunset that could be created.

I want to add some backstory to this week's glimmer, my inspirational thought for the week, that I watch both sunsets and night - skies on my porch when I was both a kid and a teenager. I did this almost every weekend to hopefully calm the loneliness I felt, and for inspiration. It was always nice seeing the night - skies at night as I would lay on the grass wondering about the universe.

Even at that age, the wonders of the universe excited me at the many possibilities that it could bring. In fact, it always piqued my curiosity wanting to learn more. Sometimes, I even wished upon stars seeing if my wish would come true. Usually it was one of two wishes. I will say that both those wishes came true in some shape or form, but I won't share them in this blog. However, I will share how porches helped me to meditate and dream the possibilities as infinitely as the stars above.

Without further ado, this is "Porches In Second Person":

"You have had a long day. You need time to brush those cares away. You know very few people will understand you so you need a private place to enjoy and relax.

Your house porch has become that place. Back when you had a lot of time you would be sitting there without any type of care. It became your sanctuary, your porch!"

You allowed yourself to think deep thoughts to help hide the confusion and the pain. You lived in that moment wishing it would last longer."

Sometimes, you would sit there into the late hours of the night while neighbors starred asking if you were okay. You would tell a white lie that everything was fine because you knew they would never understand."

Only you would understand your dreams. Your passion. Your pain. Your anger. Your world."

Just like a porch where you sit. Your sitting on top of YOUR world."

Your porch was your escape with the hope of a better world. That's the pain people will never understand."

Your porch was the beginning of your understanding."

Glimmer: Calendars in Second Person

The inspiration for this came from the thoughts when I was young. Lately, I have been thinking of a calendar. Now, I am willing to bet that some of you view calendars different now, as an adult, then when you were a child. How?

Well, as a child you looked at calendars as a way to keep track towards special events. The most important event that most children look forward to is graduation - when they don't have to EVER do homework. I know that I used to count down towards that day, which may be a surprise for some; because I have always loved school. I love learning, and it is a passion that I have carried into my adult years. I am still reading books, and I love sharing my knowledge with others as I learn from them as well.

As an adult, we are dreading the work week; and hoping for the weekend - the measly two days that will allow us rest and relaxation. But, this isn't anymore different than being a child. I have had an interesting thought regarding time and calendars. I find that they are not the same concept!

Though we associate time with a calendar there seems to be a different parallel between these two things. Time keeps track of dates: hours, minutes, days, months and years. Calendars keep track of events things that we hope and we plan. Simply, time keeps track of dates while calendars keep track of events.

Lately, my heart has been full; and I have been crying tears because I have been emotional regarding this concept. Why? Well, it is because I have come to the realization that some of us may feel like we are stuck in a rut especially when life now seems monotonous as an adult. From sociological research, the average adult spends about six to eight hours watching television; an average of eight hours sleeping; and about another eight hours working. When I was brought this concept, it made me wonder where, then, do we find the time for ourselves? Furthermore, I brought this up with my therapist, and they said that this is the reason why some people feel in a rut.

Which begs the further question, what is the purpose with our life? It begged the further question, are we now just looking and waiting for the time of our death? Or, are we going to make something worth of that time so that we don't have to feel like we are stuck in "rut"?

These are some thoughts that I wanted to share regarding the inspiration for this glimmer. But, I want to further share that I am still looking at time like a "calender" rather than looking at it as "time" itself. How? Well, I always look for events in my life because I always try to move with a purpose.

A purpose that I only see. I can feel. And, I believe. Life always has more meaning when our perspectives change, and it moves with a purpose. Hence, I am blessed to live my life.

Without further ado, here is "Calendars in Second Person":

"Calendars. You look at one.

You look at dates with purpose. Anticipation. Hope. Knowledge knowing it isn't as linear as some.

Some people dread Monday as it comes only after the weekend thinking their problems has ended.

Life has become a cyclical motion. No purpose. No resolution. No light at the end of the progression.

Folley thinking. Your heart is dreading will this ever end? Am I just waiting to be dead?

Waiting to stand still.

You look at days and numbers wondering why they look so similar. Now, you're feeling very peculiar.

Peculiar it may seem that the rest of society would want nothing more for you unless you bring purpose and hope to no longer a sentimental thought.

You look at calendars as a time just waiting to end. No! You're looking for events that they will never understand.

You can't share. You can't whisper. You can only show.

For now you understand that for now you are not part of the rest.

The rest who dread Monday to see calendars as cyclical. You will giggle as your heart knows you will be the some, of a little, that will never know.

For you, calendars are the future dates that you know are ahead.

You're ready to make people's minds bend. Set the calendar. And, set the trend.

This will not be your end."

Glimmer: Alone in second person

In light of personal events, recent events and future events; I have had an epiphany that I felt needed a glimmer. Again, a "glimmer" is a type of inspiration that I gleaned from the day or during the week. This glimmer has been nagging at my soul, and I feel that it is important that I express it. Furthermore, this glimmer has dark undertones; and it has truth inflected upon feeling. This glimmer came from somebody in the Veteran Administration who stated to me, "You're the professional over your own universe". I have been reflecting upon those words these last couple of months; but I think I have an idea what he meant.

This is "Alone In Second Person". Hence, these are my feelings:

You are alone.

You will never feel. You will never convey what people can never understand. People can't feel what you feel. People can't see what you see. People can't comprehend how you think.

400,000 words in the English language can't convey what you feel. You can't share those words. You can't understand what is experienced. Hence, you will understand that you're alone. There is darkness in your soul. Emptiness that can't be filled. Sorrowfulness that can't be understood. Feelings that you can't share.

You speak. You whisper. You hear. You try to see. You can never feel. You can't feel that agony. You can't understand that your language is finite. Hence, your understanding is finite.

Your understanding, An interesting concept.

You gain it. You learn it. You can never share it because you experience it. Hence, you journey alone.

In the darkness where it lies is a dichotomy that can't be defeated. You are alone.

Your cause. Your resolution. Your world. Your universe. You're the only one that sees it. No one else.

You can express it, but silence is all that can be heard.

Senses are diminished in your universe as you stand alone.

You're the only one that can make sense of it.

You are alone.